Signs you’re growing into a BETTER, less wounded version of yourself

 

If you’re on a healing journey, with hopes to overcome personal struggles around people-pleasing, shame, feeling small, not feeling like you’re enough, getting triggered, giving too much, not maintaining boundaries, or anything like this; you’ve probably made progress over time. 

Every aspect of your life can be mapped back to how you feel on the inside. How you feel about yourself, how you think other people feel about you, and what you perceive your world to be. Everything comes back to YOU. 

If you’ve been wondering whether you’re on the right track, perhaps you cut off someone who no longer served your best interests, but then spent days ruminating over it; wondering if you made the right decision, if perhaps you were too harsh, maybe they deserved another chance, maybe you should’ve been nicer, more patient, less strict… This all sounds familiar doesn’t it? Well, to point you in the right direction; here are some signs that show you’re growing and become a better version of yourself:

1. Growth starts to feel less like the “new” you and more like the “old” you

So who’s the “old” you? That’s the little you who was raw, open, honest about who you are, not only to people around (parents, siblings, friends), but to yourself. You knew what you liked, you openly expressed your emotions, you had no filter, you didn't hold back. It’s the You before you were controlled, contained, disciplined, chastised, and moulded into an ‘appropriate’ young woman who was nice, cordial, tamed, and stayed in her place.

So as you grow and expand, it feels less like learning something new, and more like returning to the true you.

2. You stop needing or seeking validation from anyone

A lot of what we do, is open to critique, sometimes invited, but most times; uninvited. But the lack of critique, can be weird. You post something on social media and it gets 1 or no likes? Feels a bit weird doesn’t it? Or you dress up and show up to an event and not a single person compliments you. Not even a second look at you. Or you feel strongly about something but everyone else seems to think the opposite, or even find you strange for feeling that way. 

The reason each of these examples potentially feel uncomfortable is because they lack something most of us need; Validation. In order to feel ‘normal’ or accepted, or understood; we often end up placing too much value on other people’s opinions, and not enough on our own. 

The second you stop needing any approval for anyone, and live purely for your own approval; growth has truly begun. Judging eyes or comments, snide remarks, unsolicited advice become lint to flick over your shoulder. 

3. You manage your reactions

The old you would probably feel overwhelmed and affected by issues or people around you. If someone makes an off-handed comment directed at you, if your boundaries are crossed, if someone tries to get you riled up - this probably almost always landed with you trying to calm your blood pressure, release tension in your shoulders and jaw, take deep breaths, and fast-typing a long text or email. 

But now, you have transitioned into picking your battles, taking time to think before you respond, and reserving your energy for things that are actually worth it. This is where leaving quietly, responding to an aggressor with a silent and calm stare, and leaving messages on “read” come in. You have realized that your energy is sacred, and is only shared when necessary.

4. You don’t need to control how people portray you

The less healed version of you needed to control how people see you, perceive you, think of you. Obsession with how you look, act, come across, what you think people will think when they experience you? Exhausting and a consuming. 

You now don’t care how you’re perceived. If they have the wrong version of your story, or think you’re one way but not another, none of that matters. You cannot control anyone else’s thought but your own; and that is what you focus on.

5. You trust yourself

Self-trust is key to knowing who you are and making yourself the main focus of your story. Your intuition, knowledge, experiences; all lead to a well-rounded version of you, who trusts their abilities to makes decisions that bring you peace and joy.

Where the old you used to overthink, get confused by choices, panic, ignore internal signals, or outsource decisions; this version of you calmly moves forward, knowing what your non-negotiables are, and confidently chooses people and situations you can handle. 

6. You don’t need to impress anyone 

Needing to prove yourself is a sign of emotional wounds. Healing has helped you recognize that. You now firmly understand that the only person you need to impress is yourself. You set your standards, goals, dreams, to the level of your own expectations. Being truly aligned with these means you don’t feel the need to perform or front. 

Growth takes time, effort, and self-acceptance. Healing is a journey that can sometimes feel like going in circles. But with each change, awareness, shift; you reach the goal post.

So, how did you score with these? It’s good to remember that these are just some example areas that you can look at to track your progress, there are plenty more. 

If they helped you dig a little deeper, feel free to share with your loved ones, and comment on which ones stood out, which ones you’re currently working on, and if there are any that feel especially hard.

Until the next post, keep growing, expanding, and becoming the best version of yourself!